This blog has oh so nearly died the death on a number of occasions – particularly recently – as I’ve never really said what is on my mind here anyway and it’s oh so light-weight. BUT… I’m frankly feeling the need right now to shout into a pillow, so the blog gets it!
I know you’re troubled by what you see. I know you’re embarrassed and unsure but please do as you would otherwise (I hope) and engage brain before speaking to a disabled friend.
At the plant nursery recently and meeting a friend I hadn’t seen in 20 years (she, clearly, not knowing that I’d had a haemorrhagic stroke that nearly killed me, and questioning why I walked with a stick).
She: ‘What have you done!’
Totally innocent question.
Me: …Mentions words ‘stroke’ in very brief explanation and says (by way of cutting all conversation short on the subject, because it still upsets me) … ‘but hey, let’s not dwell on that! I’m still standing, still moving on!’
She: ‘For now!’
What the hell does that mean?
I brush it off. People say dumbest things when dumbfounded – myself included.
But then days later I met with someone in my home who is looking to undertake a project for us. The last time she was here, she questioned my need for my husband’s help up our garden steps and I gave her the run-down.
OK. So she’s fully clued up. Only on this occasion she shook hands with my husband but when I, as usual, offered a warm and friendly squeeze of my (working) left hand she looked curiously towards my hidden (under a pashmina) useless, twisted right hand and rather arrogantly (I thought) said:
‘What? Have we lost the use of our right hand now?!’
Well yes, actually. I have.
It upset met… to have to explain again.